


Remember

by kupur



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence - Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Captivity, Flashbacks, Gen, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, Mutants, Original Character(s), POV Third Person, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rescue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 18:07:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7372126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kupur/pseuds/kupur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time the Winter Soldier meets her, her smile is wavering and unsure, and her eyes are bright but hold the weariness of a hundred years of bad luck under their dark exterior.</p><p>They meet each other in a room with too many guards and too few exits, cold concrete pressing under their bare feet. She calls herself <i>Hadley</i> and he doesn't reply, but when the guards tell the Soldier to attack, he bares his teeth and lunges.</p><p>The second time the Winter Soldier meets her, it's right after he meets the man on the bridge and right before he's set to meet with Pierce, when he's less <i>Soldier</i> and more <i>Barnes,</i> and her eyes are wide and curious as he paces around the cell. He mutters to himself, curls and uncurls his metal fist, lets his eyes flutter around in their sockets. She's the warm hand that helps tug him back into reality when he starts getting lost in his head to the repetition of <i>I knew him I knew him I knew him.</i> And when he stares at her, eyes slanted and head cocked, he starts thinking, <i>I know her I know her I know her.</i> When she says her name is <i>Hadley,<i> he just closes his eyes and tries to remember where he knows her from.</i></i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The first time Bucky meets her, her smile is wavering but warm, and her eyes are bright but hold the wisdom of a thousand years under their dark exterior.

They meet each other in the dampness of the cell, cold concrete pressing under their legs and hard shackles tying them close to the ground. She calls herself _Hadley_ and he says his name is _Bucky,_ and he smiles when she does. She doesn't say anything about his left arm and he's grateful for that.

The first time the Winter Soldier meets her, her smile is wavering and unsure, and her eyes are bright but hold the weariness of a hundred years of bad luck under their dark exterior.

They meet each other in a room with too many guards and too few exits, cold concrete pressing under their bare feet. She calls herself _Hadley_ and he doesn't reply, but when the guards tell the Soldier to attack, he bares his teeth and lunges.

The second time the Winter Soldier meets her, it's right after he meets the man on the bridge and right before he's set to meet with Pierce, when he's less _Soldier_ and more _Barnes,_ and her eyes are wide and curious as he paces around the cell. He mutters to himself, curls and uncurls his metal fist, lets his eyes flutter around in their sockets. She's the warm hand that helps tug him back into reality when he starts getting lost in his head to the repetition of _I knew him I knew him I knew him._ And when he stares at her, eyes slanted and head cocked, he starts thinking, _I know her I know her I know her._ When she says her name is _Hadley,_ he just closes his eyes and tries to remember where he knows her from.

The third time the Winter Soldier meets her, it's right after he's met with Pierce and been wiped again, and he's suddenly more Soldier than she's ever seen him before. The third time, her mouth is sullen, a drawn line that holds no emotion, and her eyes watch him cautiously, carefully.

She says her name is _Hadley,_ and he just glares at her, eyes dark and fierce and terrifying. He doesn't recognize her, and he punches a hole in the wall when he catches her gaze.

* * *

 

The first time he meets him, he's stuck in that place where he doesn't feel like _Bucky_ and he doesn't feel like the _Winter Soldier,_ but he's too dissociated from himself to feel like _James Buchanan Barnes_ either, so he calls himself nothing. He meets him in a dusty apartment in Bucharest, too wound up for his own good, and he tries to defend himself against the attacks in Vienna, but he can tell the man in front of him doesn't believe him.

When the man asks if he knows who he is, all he can say is, "Steve. I read about you in the museum," and he knows Steve can tell he's lying, but he can't remember when he first remembered Steve and he's too tired to even try to.

* * *

 

The first time he gets a flashback is when he's in the Avengers Tower, and he's suddenly unable to take a breath and his whole body is shaking. It's a movie reel in his head of falling off the train, of reaching for Steve and then suddenly falling free, and he's screaming as he replays it in his head. And suddenly Steve's next to him and he realizes that he was screaming out loud as well.

The second time he gets a flashback is when he's taking his morning run, jacket pulled tight around him and zipped up to his neck. He's fallen to the ground at the same time lights pop behind his eyes, and suddenly he's watching his mangled arm being replaced by metal all over again. He doesn't scream this time, only pants wildly and screws his eyes shut and prays that it be over soon.

The third time he gets a flashback is when he's reaching into a cupboard, and suddenly he's bent over, gripping the counter as he catches snippets of dark eyes, small smiles, and a voice that's telling him _Hadley_ a dozen times over.

He screams for Steve and tries to remember if the girl is real or not.

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

It doesn't take them long to find her.

She's strapped down to a metal gurney, cold and imposing, her eyes rolled back into her head and her shoulder bleeding furiously. She's alive, though, her heart beating strong and her chest rising with every soft breath. It reminds Steve of when he'd found Bucky the first time, weak and confused and every bit the aftermath of Zola's experimentation. It brings back the memory of almost not being able to escape the base, brings back his feelings of terror and worry, but then the girl's eyes are starting to move in her sockets and she's trying not to choke on the acrid air.

Tony's watching as she fights to come back to consciousness, notes with a heavy head the gash that stretches from her collarbone down to her navel. The blood is soaking through her clothes, thin and bright and every bit a signature of death. He watches Steve with dark eyes, but Steve grits his teeth and unstraps her from the gurney and lifts her pale, thin body into his arms. He'd promised Bucky - he'd bring her back.

She's mostly awake by the time they arrive back to the quinjet. Her eyes are slits, her breathing heavy, but she's managed to get one hand up to grip at Steve's chest, and all Steve can think is _please don't die, I promised Bucky I'd find you._

* * *

The color is starting to return to her cheeks by the time they've landed in New York, and the gash across her torso has stopped bleeding. Tony is relieved, and all Steve can think is _thank god._

* * *

They take her to the hospital, and Tony is still in his Iron Man suit and Steve is still in his Captain America get-up, but they ignore the stares and instead march into the emergency room of the nearest hospital. The nurses take her in graciously, admitting her and placing her into a room as soon as they can find an open transport gurney.

One of the doctors looks her over while Tony and Steve wait in the hall outside, worry lining their faces and terror drifting in their heads. When the doctor comes out to talk to them, all the two heroes hear are snippets of words like _amputation_ and _torture_ and _pain._

* * *

Bucky isn't allowed to visit for nearly a week. Steve had prohibited it, terror in his eyes as he tried to explain to Bucky what had happened, words like _they cut off her hand_ and _she could still die_ lining other words like _I don't know if she'll remember you_ and _I don't know if she'll remember herself._

* * *

The second time Bucky meets her, she is passed out from the amplitude of painkillers and anesthetics they've given her. Her breathing is deep and slow, and her heart pumps out a steady rate of _beep beep beep_ on the monitor. Her hand is wrapped up in a clean white bandage, and all Bucky can do is swallow the lump in his throat and try to remember what happened the first time they met.

They meet in a hospital room that's too clean and too white, smelling of antiseptic and rubber gloves, and all he can do is stare at her pale face and wish she'd open her eyes so he can try to see the galaxies again.

The third time Bucky meets her, she's awake and groggy, and when she sees him she smiles, her lips wavering but warm, and when he looks into her eyes he swears he can see the same pain he'd felt what seems like a hundred years ago.

They meet in a hospital room that's too clean and too white, but the sun is shining through a window and the whole room's warm. She smiles up at him and says her name is _Hadley,_ and he nearly breaks down crying, but instead he laughs shakingly and says his name is _Bucky_ and then holds her hand until one of the nurses increases her anesthetic and she passes out again. Her hand is back, full and pale and Bucky's terrified, but he doesn't say anything and he can tell she's grateful for that.

* * *

The fourth time Bucky meets her, she's been released from the hospital and they're meeting up for coffee. She's smiling and her hair's long and loose and blowing into her face every time the wind blows, but Bucky doesn't mind.

He asks her about her hand and she doesn't freeze up, only grasps his metal hand in her own and stares up at him with eyes that he can see a thousand lives in. She tells him her name is _Hadley_ and that she can't remember everything, but she remembers that his name is _Bucky._ She says that she was experimented on when Bucky left and didn't come back, but she's smiling up at him and he's smiling down at her, and when she says distastefully that she wished her hand had stayed gone because she didn't do anything with it anyways, he laughs and pulls her into his side.

* * *

Later, when they go to bed that night, she curls into his side and says that her name is _Hadley,_ like she's trying not to forget, and then she says his name's _Bucky_ like she's trying to make sure he remembers.

In the morning, her eyes are bright and curious over a cup of coffee, and he just smiles at her.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
